Acting as a caregiver for a family member is a tremendous responsibility. No one can really appreciate just how much work is involved unless they have been there themselves, and the toll acting as a caregiver takes on you is physical as well as emotional. Admitting just how difficult it is to care for someone else is a crucial part of providing good care for your loved one as well as yourself. Most people believe that they have to put their own needs last when they take on this role, but nothing could be further from the truth. Compromising your own needs in turn compromises the needs of the person you’re trying to help, because if you are not functioning at your full level, then you are not giving them the best care you can. Focusing on yourself is an integral part of helping your sick family member.

Of course, this is easier said than done, especially if the person you are caring for is a parent. Most people feel guilty about saying that providing care for a parent is a burden – after all, this is the person who cared for you when you were child. The fact is – caring for someone full time IS a burden. You can’t do it alone. Your first step in respecting your own needs when caring for someone else is to admit that you have them. Admit to yourself that you can’t do everything alone, and that you have to have the time and space to take of yourself. If making peace with this fact is difficult for you, consider reaching out to support groups for caregivers in your area or ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist. These people can help you come to terms with the tough choices you need to make to protect your own well being.

Once you have admitted that you need help, it’s time to get some. Resist taking on the role of the only person who can help the family member you are looking after. Get other family members or friends on board so you can get a much needed break. Ask them to help you cook dinners. Ask them to come over and sit with your family member for awhile so you can get out and visit friends, do some shopping, see a movie – whatever you enjoy doing. The added benefit of getting other people involved in the caring process is that it becomes a self fulfilling cycle. People will stop assuming that you’ll shoulder the responsibility and will step up and take some of the burden off of you more and more.

If there simply isn’t anyone you can ask for help, then carve out time for yourself the best way you can. Get frequent exercise.  Make a time in the day where you get to do whatever you want, even if you simply spend some quiet time reading or taking a bath. Likewise, give yourself a break on the little things. Hire a cleaning lady, or evaluate whether or not you’re doing more housekeeping than you need to. Find a good takeout service that you can use when you need a break from cooking. Don’t take on additional favors for family and friends.  Learn to say no.

Caregivers have a history of falling into depression, alcohol abuse and other problems, and you need to look after yourself so you stay healthy. It may feel selfish to you at the time, but every break you take is an act of love for the person you care for – you need to feel your best to treat them with the compassion and care you want them to have.

Lift chairs are one of the best things you can get to help an elderly or ill person out of a chair without destroying your own back. There are all makes and models. Some of the better ones we show below. Simply replace an old chair in your room with one of these lift chairs. they look like regular chairs. Or you can use one of the portable lift devices an not have to replace any furniture. The choice is yours.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 7th, 2009 at 4:15 am and is filed under Home Caregiver. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.