Home caregivers are under a great deal of stress, there is no denying. But, along with this it is the ultimate way to show your love. These two types of feelings converge to cause many problems. The daily schedule of care giving, especially for an elderly parent, can cause burnout pretty quickly. You may go from being a person who is concerned and motivated to one who is pessimistic and resentful. Farther down the road you may hit physical exhaustion from the extra work and stress. There is simply too much work and not enough help much of the time. Getting to the burnout stage may cause depression and anxiety. But your love for the person can also then cause guilt.
How Do You Identify The Symptoms Of Care Giver Burnout?
The burnout you may suffer can manifest itself in a variety of ways. It can creep up on you before you even realize what has happened. Do you have one or more of these symptoms?
1. Is your weight fluctuating more than normal? Perhaps you are using food to comfort yourself or withdrawing from food due to a lost appetite.
2. Are you more irritable and having trouble controlling it? This may spill over to the way you treat other family members.
3. Have you quit doing the things in life that used to make you happy such as hobbies or visiting people?
4. Are you experiencing extreme feelings of being overwhelmed with guilt? Sometimes this can even lead to wanting to hurt your self due to the powerful feelings of this stress.
5. How are you sleeping? You may have a change in your habits that you can’t seem to break due to feelings of worry and stress. This can mean too little or too much sleep. It goes both ways.
6. Physical Exhaustion. Are you experiencing new pains in joints or your body? How about headaches? This can be from care giver burnout.
Why Does Care Giver Burnout And Guilt Occur?
The physical burnout you suffer may simply be because you have no time to take care of yourself. You may not only have the elderly person to take care of but you may have children and a spouse too, all demanding some time.
Think of the role reversal that may be taking place as well. You now find yourself taking care of a loved one who once was healthy, self-efficient and could communicate with you better. It is difficult to now see this person as something different. You may encounter an identity crisis as you are now the care giver of a parent or friend who once was your equal, or who may have taken care of you in the past.
Home care giving becomes so stressful at times and so burdensome that the extra burden on your time and money makes it unfathomable and difficult to manage. It sometimes seems like everything happens at once and there is little or no good and steady help.
As well the new demands on your physical and mental heath take its toll rather quickly. You may feel you aren’t doing all that you can and so are hard on yourself. This is usually just the result of feeling overly responsible.
What Should You Do To Prevent Burnout?
First off you have to be realistic about your loved ones situation and condition. You need to realize from the beginning that you can’t do it on your own. Talk to friends and family about the situation to see if they have ideas. They may have gone through already what you are going through.
Set some specific goals for yourself and set schedules in caring for your loved one. Make an effort to enlist the help of others if for no other reason than to get an hour of free time to take a breath or get some exercise. Put this time on a written schedule so you have a clear picture of this new life of yours. On this schedule you should also put things to do that you enjoy such as taking a bath, phoning a friend or catching up on a hobby.
Read and research all you can on your loved ones condition so you have the knowledge to make better decisions. You can only do so much and don’t rule out institutional care, or a visiting nurse, if necessary. Seek backup care such as home health care agencies or adult daycares.
Make sure you take physical care of yourself. You will be under more physical stress than usual so this means you should get the necessary exercise, eat well and take vitamins if you can. Support groups for some comradeship are a big help. The last thing you want to feel is alone. Help may be just a question away or at the end of a short phone call.
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I have expressed the following thoughts before on several blogs, maybe even this one. However, I believe they are worth repeating. Caregiver burnout is a major issue for those with this awesome responsibility. Don’t overlook the role of humor to make things more bearable. Things that made me angry and frustrated when my mother (who had dementia)was alive, in retrospect are filled with funny happenings. This is true too for the many caregivers who read my blog and contact me about my book which emphasizes humor as a healing balm. Caregivers need all the emotional support they can get. Dementia is a disease that knows no boundaries. It is blind to the
categories in which we usually place our fellow human beings. It can occur at the age of 55 or 85. It can happen to Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Christians, Muslims, males and females, rich and poor. It will not spare ex-presidents or ex-prime ministers. It did not spare my mother. Tears are shed by husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters—in fact anyone responsible for the care of a loved one with dementia.
Bob Tell, Author
Dementia Diary, A Caregiver’s Journal
http://www.dementia-diary.com
http://caregiverchronicle.blogspot.com/